Ask Barb - Flanner and Buchanan Funeral Centers

For over 125 years we’ve been telling stories about the lives of the great people of Indianapolis. And our success can be summed-up in three words - community, compassion and commitment.

Entries for February, 2010

One of the most dramatic industry changes in the last decade revolves around the expenses of the conventional obituary.  That final documentation of our well lived life placed in the “Obituary Section” of the local newspaper for all to read and share.

At one time these notices, like the declaration of our birth, were placed in the publications for little of no expense.  Today, with many local papers struggling to survive, an average listing in a urban community paper may run into several hundred dollars, more if you include a photo or length career history.

Do you take the daily paper at home?  Where do you get your community information from?

Technology has allowed us to quickly establish a Facebook page for the deceased and most funeral providers provide individual postings of obituaries within their company websites, but doesn’t it beg the question, how will you let your friends and family know about a funeral if the conventional newspaper is gone?

The schools use an email blast to families if weather is delaying a sports event.  An email blast may be an option if you have access to your loved one’s data base. Some families do that now.

 Perhaps a local cable channel will run the obituary details.  The hours we spend in front of those screens at home is staggering.  Much like the weather station you can pop in for the details like funeral home locations and visitation times.

Technology has converted our communication channels in the last decade.  How will you get the word out?  I’d like to know.

I was reviewing all the options our families have for recording their family history. You know what I mean, those moments we never want to forget because they are so funny, or rare that we want to share it with everyone.

Over the years I have journal-ed about everyday events.  Now, my children can see what I experienced and how I handled problems when I was their age.  When I’m gone there will be generations of my family who will have those simple memories in their hands. I won’t be acknowledged as a profound scholar  but they will find interest in my handwriting and personal accounts of historic events like 911. the Kennedy assassinations, and living in the south during Martin Luther King’s lifetime. 

Everyday heroes leave simple footprints in the sand to be follow.  Too often those footprints are washed into the sea and their pathway  dissolved before others can discover them.  Where were you ten years ago?  How were you and the world  different?

Leave a trail for others to experience and share.  There are lots of ways to do it. We can help if you want, with video tributes and Story Told Memories.  Remember today is tomorrows history.  Don’t loose it!

Have you noticed that over the years the style of dressing has changed in our society.  It’s not uncommon to see jeans at church or a business meeting.  Sneakers are acceptable everywhere without question.  Yet, when a movie or sitcom portrays a funeral service everyone is still dressed head to toe in black and every male family member suddenly owns a suit.

Even though there are some that consider me a liberal, I like to think that you dress a little nicer  for a funeral as a form of respect.  That being said, I’d like you to consider the following points when getting ready….

1.  How did the deceased dress….were they casual?  Did they personally own or wear a  full suit or dress when a special occasion came up, or was their closet full of Dockers and jeans? Never saw him in a tie ….don’t wear one. 

2.  Did the deceased, or their immediate family, participate in a particular spiritual group or culture? In some communities certain colors and wardrobe consideration are important.  Ask  the family if you have questions.  They will appreciate that you cared enough to inquire.

3.  If there are no special restrictions… consider wearing your friends “favorite color”, such as royal blue if they were a Indianapolis Colt’s fan, or crimson red if they loved I.U.

4.  Give a little thought to your shoes too.  Some considerations …if it’s snowing out, wear boots…add a little shoe polish if needed…consider leaving the sneakers at home.  Ladies, open toed shoes in winter make others worry about your health.

These are just some general suggestions. Don’t let the wrong shirt or shoes keep you from going to pay your final respects to a friend.

If in doubt ask Barb! ….. Going out today?  Wear a heavy coat!